CougZone.com - Butch v. Tommy

November 6, 2009

Butch and Tommy

Tommy was busy cowering in the corner after the Nikes whipped his girls up side the head a few times last Saturday, so he was hardly in a proper frame of mind to notice when Butch inched another game closer to him this week. It is not like Butch is exactly barreling toward Tommy like a runaway locomotive - more like a delicate little butterfly - but hey, closer is better than farther away. Of course, the reason Tommy avoided yet another skunking this season was because Butch's Wazzu saved his skin by covering like everybody knew they would while Tommy's own girls could not even muster enough gumption to stay within three touchdowns of the Nikes - when they were favored! For some reason, Tommy did not believe Butch when he said the Cal-ASU game was going to be close, so he lost another one there and both Butch and Tommy lost when the Rodents were evidently distracted by a mosquito or something and could not seem to keep their big lead against UCLA. Butch is kicking himself over that one because every year it seems like the Rodents do this - have a surefire big win at home that they proceed to make look more difficult than it should have been. Oh well, the nog still tasted good and Butch is one game closer to Tommy while Tommy slinks back toward his namesake .500 Tommy Line?.

Tommy: The good news is that Tommy picked the WSU/Notre Dame score right on the button. The bad news is that was the only game The Skirted One got right, and he also had to watch his Trojans lose their stranglehold of the Pac-10 in emphatic and embarrassing fashion. All good things come to an end, and Butch is getting a little too close for comfort. So Tommy will close his eyes and point randomly at teams to pick. That strategy can't be much worse than it's been the last few weeks.

Butch: Watch out Tommy, objects in the mirror may not be as far away as they appear [although they may appear to be just as loopy]. The only problem with that strategy, Tommy, is that Butch did not see any mentioning of the magic ingredient necessary to make all your dreams come true - nog.

Oregon (-7) at Stanford

Tommy: The Cardinal have a chance to get into the Pac-10 race...if they can win three straight against the three best teams in the conference. Ah, no. It's altogether possible that the Cardinal will again come up short of their desired bowl bid, with Oregon, USC, Cal, and Neuter Dumb on the horizon. Tommy doesn't like the chances of a school that is better known for its annoying band than their football prowess. The guess is that the Mighty Trees gets whipped by the future Pac-10 champs. Did Anyone Get The License Plate Of That Steam Roller That Hit SC?-42, Still Mediocre-24.

Butch: Annoying band? Butch is going to take a quick vote among the Pac-10 fans - which band does much of the Pac-10 find more annoying, the USC band with their repetitiveness or the Trees' band with their irreverence? Oh, polls closed early on that one - that was quick - looks like it was a landslide of the variety we all saw in Eugene last week. As for the game, the Trees are tough at home - but not tough enough to win outright - Butch does not think. Well, maybe, if the Nikes are not paying attention and coveting Harbaugh's gold-plated toilet. So, Butch takes the Trees to cover.

Washington at UCLA (-5.5)

Tommy: Tommy's not sure that the Bruins should be favored against any team that doesn't go by the initials W...S...U..., and even that is sketchy. Shouldn't the greatest coaching staff in the history of the world have pulled the Powders out of this tailspin by now? The Huskies have struggled at the Rose Bowl though. Tommy's gonna hedge his bete and say that the Gutty Ones finally win a Pac-10 game, but that Butch's Huskies cover. The Monopoly On Boring Football Continues-24, We're Exciting, But We're Not That Good-21.

Butch: Now that his favorite team is out of the title picture, Tommy is going to ride his second favorite team off into the sunset. UCLA saw the Hussies on the schedule this week and Butch believes the initial collective players' reaction captured on an illicit YouTube video was "Yes!" Butch believes this is a match made in heaven - the kind of heaven where sour cream always goes bad. Butch takes UCLA to win and cover.

Wazzu at Arizona (-32.5)

Tommy: Butch's boys are on a little roll when it comes to the spread, and Tommy's gonna ride the crest and take the Cougs to get the cover against The Angry One's Squad. How Did These Guys Lose To UW?-42, How Did These Guys Beat SMU?-28.

Butch: Money in the bank, Tommy - here is your one easy win of the week. Butch takes Wazzu to cover - again - against the big number.

Oregon State at California (-7)

Tommy: Tommy ain't buyin' what Vegas is sellin' here. The Beavs have beaten Cal three of the last four seasons, and have owned them in Berkeley. Cal looked mediocre last weekend against the Scum Devils, and methinks that the Rodgers brothers will run wild. Too Bad The Beavers Won't Eat The Trees That Those Dirty Hippies Have Climbed In-28, Emerald Bowl, Here We Come-24.

Butch: This is a close one - Butch concurs with Tommy on that - and figures it will be decided by a touchdown. If it were under seven, Butch would take the home team, but seven or over, Butch will go with the reluctant Rodents to cover [or tie].

USC (-10.5) at Arizona State

Tommy: Ouch, did that whuppin hurt last week. Well, no one is above a butt kicking, and Tommy's Trojans were due after not taking one in almost a decade. But the Trojans still have a BCS Bowl bid in their sights, and will get back on track with an easy win against the Scummies, who do not have the quarterback to challenge USC's struggling defense. Good Guys-34, Fake Tans-18.

Butch: Guess the icy cold hand of Death did visit Tommy's girls last week after all. Who would have thought his girls would have gone down so indelicately? This week, an easy win because ASU will personal foul themselves to death. Butch takes Tommy's Women of Troy to win and cover.

Non-conference Noogies

Fresno State (-8) at Idaho

Tommy: Let's stick with Butch's true rivals, the Spuds (who would probably beat the vaunted Cougs this year). It's November, which means that it's time for a Pat Hill team to choke on the road in conference against someone that he has no business losing to. Tommy goes with the Vandals in an upset. Northern Outpost In The Middle Of Nowhere-27, California's Version Of The Middle Of Nowhere-24.

Butch: Hillbilly Pat travels from the Stupid Capital of the Nation to take on the Spuds and it is not going to be pretty - mashings all the way around. Butch takes the visitors from the Valley of Stupid to win and cover.

Army at Air Force (-17)

Tommy: No amount of camouflage unis are going to save the Cadets from another beatdown at the hands of their brothers in arms. Army has won one of their last 10 against their fellow academies, and since they've already lost to Tulane at home this season, I'll take the Fliers to cover. Bombers-38, Foot Patrol-14.

Butch: A service revolver duel, eh? Fly Boys drone on and on about the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow and bore Cadets to death to win and cover.

Navy at Notre Dame (-11)

Tommy: Tommy knows the Irish defense sucks, but ND has pounded on non-BCS opponents since last year's bowl game. It will be bombs away for the Irish, especially with the dominant Michael Floyd back into the line-up. Will We Be Tortured With Another Notre Dame BCS Bowl Embarrassment?-35, Gutty But No Talent-20.

Butch: Well now that Wazzu has softened them up and they think they can throw the 50 Go [otherwise known as the first half Hail Mary] against anybody and connect on it - the Leprechauns will be all overconfident and allow the Boatmen to cover.

Tommy

Last Week: 1-3

Overall: 24-24-2

Butch

Last Week: 2-2

Overall: 20-28-2

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Autumn is here?and you know what that means?It's time for a whole new season of Cougar Athletics! Football, soccer, volleyball, men's & women's basketball, baseball, track & field and tennis, just to name a few, are coming up right around the corner. If you need "game action" photographs for your newspaper, magazine, web site, blog, etc., then Greg Davis Sports Photography should be your choice for all things "Cougar" and "Pac-10 Conference"! Coverage for specific athletes or upcoming events is also available. Check out the images from games, practices and events from last season, and be sure to come back often for uploads from all of this season's action.

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