football Edit

Butch V. Tommy - Week 10

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Butch and Tommy held their ground last week, which is always both a trick and a treat since it is shaky to begin with. A twin Northwest implosion of Beavers and Cougars prevented Butch and Tommy from achieving prognosticating nirvana – the undefeated week – but for Tommy, two wins is better than slurping up gutter water from the detritus of most of his October picks. The hangover from the candy booty has passed and now that Butch and Tommy can see straight again, it is time to pretend like they know what they are talking about. Let's see what sugary secretions of sanity they have remaining in their Halloween pillow case this week...
Tommy: YAAAYYYYYY! Tommy and Butch had a .500 week. Tommy doesn't think he's ever been so happy to break even. Your emotions tend to fray when you've taken a two month butt whoopin'. This is the week it all turns around, right? NAAAAAH!
Butch: Benevolent Butch gave Tommy an extra hour this week to think about his picks and he likes what he sees [or at least what he thinks he sees] – so maybe he will be generous and give him all the green Skittles.
Oregon State (-4.5) at Washington
Tommy: I would write about this game, but I don't care. Beavs cover. Another INT for Moore-31, Notre Dame Was Racist To Fire Me-23.
Butch: This game has all the makings of a really good Three Stooges festival – there will be interceptions, fumbles, pratfalls and maybe – if we're lucky – a few pokes in the eye and the Curly shuffle. It's just a shame it's not televised. Look, Butch is not exactly enthralled about taking the Hussies, but something's gotta give here and OSU gave at the office last week – making a winless team victorious, so they might serve up a serious hambone again. Butch takes Washington to cover.
California at Oregon (-1)
Tommy: The Ducks are to the Bears as the Bears are to the Trojans. Confused yet? Oregon has made things tough on Tedford in the two meetings since ol' Jeff took the job in Berkeley. No Clemens? No problem. Dixon will run around and wreak havoc, and Ayoob will wish that he was back home getting yelled at by 40 year olds. No More X-Boxes-35, Quit Screaming Obscenities At Our QB-28.
Butch: Butch wonders if Mike Bellotti is going to wield the sledgehammer to the Oregon locker room this week when the Peter Gabriel song comes on the plasma screen? [Don't worry, Phil, it's one of them thar rhetorical questions] The Ducks can't be bothered with this game, they're too busy figuring out which video games they're going to play while, now that Kellen Clemens is out, the fans renew their subscriptions to Fretful Fan Quarterly. Butch takes Oregon to win and cover.
Arizona State (-2.5) at WSU
Tommy: Did someone forget to tell Vegas that the Sun Devils can't stop the run or protect the passer? That's a pretty bad combination against the Cougs. The Sun Devils will freeze in the lovely Pullman weather, and the Cougs get the upset. Best 3-5 Team In The Nation-41, Looking For A New Coach Soon?-24.
Butch: The bad news is that the Cougars are still playing that USC game – walking around Pullman with nervous tics – flinching and still trying to tackle the invisible Trojan around every corner. But the good news is that the doctors say they should be okay by Saturday. With a clean bill of mental health and a good dosage of happy pills, Butch picks the Cougars to cover.
UCLA (-9) at Arizona
Tommy: Let's see. The Bruins went to overtime with WSU and Stanford on the road. The Cats have been rejuvenated with Willie Tuitama at QB. I see the Bruin offense struggling early again, but coming through late. The Powders win the game and get one step closer to a showdown with SC, but the Cats cover. Worst 8-0 Team In the Nation-28, We Hate Kovalcheck-24.
Butch: Wow – it's like a déjà vu double vision echo all at the same time! That's exactly the way Butch figures it too – except Mike Stoops might go over quota on sideline tantrums. Butch takes UCLA to win but Arizona to cover.
Stanford at USC (-33)
Tommy: The Cardinal have played just about everyone tight this season. So had Butch's Cougs until they rolled into L.A. The Trees will likely be with out their only decent skill position player, and the Trojans remember last year's game, when Stanford led for three quarters. SC will prove once again that they are not UCLA. Defending Champs-49, The Dirty Trees-10.
Butch: Butch admits to being befuddled by the Trees last month but he has got it figured out now – it is autumn and the leaves are starting to drop. That, plus their playing Tommy's boys of Troy. Freshman Rey Maualaga watches from the sideline while he tends to the LAPD he "owns". Butch takes USC to win and cover.
Last Week: 2-2
Overall: 20-27-1
Last Week: 2-2
Overall: 25-22-1
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