Butch v. Tommy - Week 12

With only a few weeks left in the season, both Butch and Tommy got conservative last week and they both wound up paying the price – Butch is back to toying with the .500 "Tommy Line" and Tommy again failed – for the third week in a row - to put any distance on Butch. So we sit on the exact same sofa as we did last week with Tommy clinging to a four-game lead heading into Week 12. Both Butch and Tommy were hammered last week and at least Butch can blame it on the nog, but he does not know what Tommy's excuses are…but we will surely hear them in his picks this week. For instance, Tommy, why did your boys of Troy not put away the Fighting Tedfords and yet Wazzu somehow covered a spread for the first time all year? Butch won't bring up Tommy's lock of the week – picking UCLA over Oregon State. Oops, sorry, Tommy. But enough about last week, let us not dwell in the past and move on to this week where Butch can embrace a new batch of nog [Butch never holds a grudge against the nog] and Tommy can do whatever it is that he does to find inspiration for his picks [Butch believes it may be illegal in 17 states].
Tommy: Well, Thanksgiving is coming, and Tommy is thankful for many things. Most of all, he is thankful that the Furry One was just as stupid as he was last week, and so Tommy was able to maintain his four game lead despite a horrendous showing. The Cougs covering? And actually scoring four TDs? What's this world coming to? At least, we can still rely on the Purple Coach Eaters to lay an egg. Week 12...Comin' At YA!
Butch: Yeah, expecting Tommy's boys of Troy to cover a measly 18-point spread at home – what was Butch thinking? He should have his head examined! Or make some more nog…hmmmm.
California at Oregon State (-3)
Tommy: Tommy's upset pick of the Brus over the Beavs...not so much. But the Skirted One thinks he's on steadier ground this week with a pick of the Bears. The Bears have annihilated the Bark Rats in Corvallis under Tedford every time they have played, and the Beavs have not played a team with a balanced offense since they lost to Utah. Be ready for the November tradition of the path being cleared for yet another USC Pac-10 title to resume. Fighting For Holiday-24, Bye Bye Roses-21.
Butch: That is not an upset, Tommy – the Fighting Tedfords are 2-0 against Riley's Rodents in the games they have played in Corvallis! What is upsetting about that [unless one happens to be a Beaver – and then one probably has other issues to worry about…]? You keep picking the Beavers to lose, Tommy, it sounds like you don't like 'em hanging around up there at the top of the conference. Hmmm, why could that be? Butch takes the Beavers to win but the Fighting Tedfords to cover.
Wazzu at Arizona State (-36.5)
Tommy: Could Butch's Cougs cover twice in a row, once on the road???? No. How's That Erickson Thing Going, Tempe?-49, Wow, Was Doba's Recruiting This Bad?-6.
Butch: Are we all in agreement here that Wazzu played much better last week than they have all year in a conference game? Good. Now then, are we all in agreement here that Arizona is a much better team than ASU this year? Good. Now, are we all in agreement that teacher Denny will take it easy on pupil Paul rather than embarrass him with late touchdown passes like some other coach we know in the league? Good. Well then, Butch does believe he will select Wazzu to cover against the Sun Devilinas and feel good doing it.
Arizona at Oregon (-3.5)
Tommy: Stoopsy has beaten Los Duckies twice in a row, but Tommy thinks that will all come crashing down this week. The Cats only road wins came against UCLA and WSU, and they gave up 28 points in the game against the Cougars. 28 points???!!! To WSU???!!! The Angry Man should be fired just for that. We Can't Pass When We Want To-36, Stoops Just Left A Win Behind-29.
Butch: Tommy, Tommy, Tommy – Stoopsy is 3-1 ATS against Bellotti and his Nikes and you saw that Nike game against the Trees last week did you not? Butch takes Arizona to cover.
USC (-22.5) at Stanford
Tommy: Speaking of Tommy's Trojans, it's getting hard lately to pick them to cover against non Washington schools since the offense has been more up and down than a retired porn star. But Tommy believes that the Trees will struggle to score despite their outburst last week in rainy Niketown, and the sun will be shinin' in Palo Alto. It should be fun watching Pete Carroll unleash his nasty defense against their nemesis, the great Tavita Pritchard. No encores here. Path Now Clear-24, First Loss To Pete-0.
Butch: Ah, the return, not to the scene of the crime, but to the perpetrators of the crime – how ya feelin', Tommy? The Trees are 4-0 SU/ATS at the Farm so far this year – that SU part is going to change with this game – but the ATS part should remain intact. Butch takes the Trees to cover.
UCLA (-8) at Washington
Tommy: This game gets top billing. The return of the triumphant Skippy Neuweasel to his old stomping grounds, where he meets a resurgent Husky team who is led by the hottest coach in America. This kind of reminds me of ND/UW, a true clash of the titans. The question to be answered, which of these teams will play for the national title in Miami in January? How do I choose? I'll go with the Huskies stink for $500, Alex. The Greatest Coaching Staff Ever To End A Season With Four Wins-24, Welcome, Lane Kiffen-10.
Butch: Yeah, top billing at the bottom of the barrel. Nobody outside of Puget Sound cares about Neuheisel's return and if they do, you are contractually obligated to question their judgment. So why should Butch? Oh yeah, he has to pick the game. Well, UCLA to win but the Hussies to cover.
Non-Conference Noogies
South Carolina at Florida (-21)
Tommy: Ah, Spurrier vs. his old team. They really miss him. Wait till you see how much. Best Team In The Nation Right Now-48, If Holtz Can Win Big Here, No One Can-13.
Butch: If you only knew, Tommy, how much trouble South Carolina has been to America over the years, why, you would send them off to Turkmenistan where that crazy dude is. Butch takes Florida to win and cover because it's the thumb of America and Butch likes things that are opposable.
Ohio State (-10) at Illinois
Tommy: In a nod to my (temporary) home state, let's talk about a rematch of the game that knocked Ohio State out of the national title hunt for about a week last season. I mean, the Illini beat them last season in Columbus, and I'm sure we can all disregard that Illinois just lost to Western Michigan. Sure. Revenge And Off To The Outback Bowl-35, No Bowl Game The Year After A Rose Bowl Appearance???-13.
Butch: The Ahia State is full of Jethros – and Butch oughta know – so Butch will take your cast-off Illini, Tommy, and volunteer as your stunt double at the Tri-State Traitor Meeting at the county fairgrounds hootenanny next Friday.
BYU (-4) at Air Force
Tommy: Tommy's gonna laugh when the team that beat UCLA by 59 points succumbs to the talented juggernaut that is the Falcons. The bloom's off the rose in Provo. American Heroes-27, Old Guys Playing Football-24.
Butch: Butch remembers you supposedly laughing last week Tommy when you picked Riley's Rodents to lose to UCLA – remember that knee-slapper!? You know why you got it wrong Tommy? Because you called 'em "Bruins" instead of your usual "Powders" – that's why. Plus you hate your mother and father for naming you Tommy. Just call Butch by his new name Butch Sigmund Freud as he takes the Fly Boys to miss the runway. Say, Fly Boys, you guys ever been to a Turkish prison? Do you like movies about gladiators?
Last Week: 1-4
Overall: 34-25
Last Week: 1-4
Overall: 30-29
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