Butch v. Tommy - Week Eight

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Butch and Tommy kissed their sisters last week - which is particularly difficult for Butch since he does not have a sister for sister-kissing purposes, so he rented one for the week - as both brought in 4-2 records in Week Seven. That allows Tommy to maintain his slight edge of two games over Butch but astute BvT followers [of which there are millions, we are sure] will note that Tommy is trending downward in the last few weeks. That is the nice way to put it - the mean way to put it would be to say that Tommy is beginning his late-season choke after peaking two weeks ago. Both Butch and Tommy correctly picked his boys of Troy to wallop the Fighting Tedfords last Thursday but after giving up two touchdowns and falling behind by 11 points, suddenly Utah discovered they had an offense! Who woulda thunk it?! Well, apparently Tommy guessed correctly on that and that gave him a one-game lead which he held through the Hussies obliterating the 4/20's, BYU upsetting Riley's Rodents [which cost both Tommy and Butch, do not go there…] and the Trees torching Wazzu. But then Tommy made his second mistake of the week - underestimating Sporky. Never underestimate Sporky. That is what Butch always mutters to himself before going to sleep at night and patting his special prognosticating dice three times. Sporky may not be impressive but they find ways to "do" things to you. Butch kept this in mind and Tommy did not and the result is a tie - or a draw, as they like to say in soccer. This week - time to pull out Quick Draw McGraw on Tommy.
Tommy: Hey, 4-2 ain't bad for the both of us. Tommy has been on a roll the last couple of weeks from his secret nog stash from last makes you dizzy and happy at the same time. Apparently, it makes the Skirted One smarter too. Tommy is still holding his narrow lead over Butch, and will continue to do so this week, if recent history is to be believed. Right, Butch?
Butch: Your lead is what is history, Tommy. If Quick Draw McGraw does not make quick work of you - El Kabong will. Then that year-old nog supply will kick in and your Tommy tummy will begin to ache and then…well, that might happen after the Notre Dame game anyway….
UCLA at Arizona (-4.5)
Tommy: Being on the road in Arizona generally means bad things for the Powders, and Tommy is guessing that without Screamin' Mike on the sidelines making everybody nervous, that everyone will relax and just play football. And you barely need to play football to beat the Bruins. Even Butch's Cougs almost did it. Home team covers.
More Relaxed Cats-38, Neuheisel's Magical (He's) History Tour-31.
Butch: Neuheisel is 0-3 SU and 1-2 ATS against the Team Formerly Known As The Spittle-Spewin' Stoops but with decidedly less spittle being spewed on the sideline in Tucson, Butch believes he might agree with Thomas. That should make Arizona more relaxed. Now whether they become so relaxed that they lose the game, Butch is not sure, but he agrees with Tommy that they will cover against the Bru-jobs.
Oregon (-31) at Colorado
Tommy: Usually Tommy would be all over any spread bet against a team whose head coach is...Jon Embree! But without Darron Thomas? A little rich for ol' Thomas' blood. Buffs cover...barely. Waiting For Stanford-41, Will Embree Last Three Years?-13.
Butch: Butch does not care if the Nikes start a lump of moss at QB, the result will be the same [that is what Chipstick Kelly always says - no matter who plays, it is the system]. So Thomas, Bennett or lump 'o moss - Butch selects the Nikes to win and cover.
Utah at California (-2)
Tommy: Folks, Cal is that bad. Yes, bad enough to give the Two Utes their first Pac-12 win in history. Zach Maynard throws to the other team almost as much as he throws to his own brother. (Hey ESPN, we get it, they're brothers. No need to remind us every three seconds.) Is Tedford on the hot seat yet? Not Good, But Better Than Berkeley-24, Yes, They Went To OT Against A Jon Embree-coached Team-21.
Butch: If the Ootes are not busy turning the ball over or allowing special team touchdowns, they are as good as…oh, Pitt, perhaps…but otherwise, they are 0-4 SU and ATS on the road against Pac-10/12 opponents under Whittingham in the last five years. That means, the Fighting Tedfords win and cover and claim their first Pac-12 victory of the year.
USC at Notre Dame (-9)
Tommy: Really? Tommy's not sure that his Troy Boys are gonna win this game, but nine points? Trojan QBs not named Mustain have thrown for billions of yards against the Irish in the last ten years, and Tommy doubts that will change. Green guys win unfortunately, but the red guys cover. Brian Kelly Is The New Mike Stoops-35, Good Guys-31.
Butch: Remember the good old days of cheating under Pete Carroll and beating the snot out of the Fruity Leprechauns, Tommy? Man, those were good. Welp, all over now. Now it is 15 scholarships a year, no bowl game and losing to the Fruity Leps. Butch selects the Fruity Leps to win - because Kiffin cannot even beat a lousy Lep team - but Tommy's boys of Troy to cover.
Washington at Stanford (-20.5)
Tommy: Tommy thinks this is too many points. The Fuskies are by far the best team that the Trees have played, so a little respect is in order. Better Than Oregon?-42, Getting Better, But Not There Yet-28.
Butch: The Trees are undefeated - 6-0 - both SU and ATS so far this year. Those are pretty convincing numerals for Butch…wait? Is there an echo in here? Sarkisian is 0-2 SU and ATS against the Trees- Trees have their way with the Hussies, Thomas, while they prepare to smush your boys next week. Butch selects the Trees to win and cover.
Oregon State vs. Wazzu (-3)
Tommy: Only a three point spread? Tommy's gonna take the money and run. The Mighty Beav is that bad. Butch's Boys Bowling?-31, Riley's Boys Watching?-24.
Butch: Nolo contendere. Next? Butch selects Wazzu to humanely dispose of the Pac-12 conference's worst team and win and cover…easily.
Last Week: 4-2
Overall: 25-19-1
Last Week: 4-2
Overall: 23-21-1
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The college football prognosticating season is here…and you know what that means…[well besides Butch and Tommy going at each other's throats] It's time for a whole new season of Cougar Athletics! Football, soccer, volleyball, men's & women's basketball, baseball, track & field and tennis, just to name a few, are coming up right around the corner. If you need "game action" photographs for your newspaper, magazine, web site, blog, etc., then Greg Davis Sports Photography should be your choice for all things "Cougar" and "Pac-12 Conference"! Coverage for specific athletes or upcoming events is also available. Check out the images from games, practices and events from last season, and be sure to come back often for uploads from all of this season's action.