Advertisement
football Edit

Butch v. Tommy - Week Five

The cream finally rose to the top as Butch not only took a two-game lead on Tommy but also defeated him in their single Wazzu-USC head-to-head match-up for the year. Unfortunately though, Butch is still suffering from the aftereffects of being in close proximity to Tommy's cooties and therefore, was unable to escape - out damn spot! - the menacing glare of the notorious .500 "Tommy Line" for the year. Still, it was much better than 'ol Thomas could muster for the week - which was a single victory. He had twice as many the week before when he went 2-7 - perhaps revisiting the strategy that got him those two wins might also work for two more wins this week? All Butch knows is that the celebratory nog tasted smooth this week and all his toenails were in their correct and proper order. While it was not an overwhelmingly impressive week, Butch likes where he currently sits in the 2010 BvT - in the commander's chair and will now see if he can make himself comfortable and start picking out drapes and a nice vodka cupholder to go with the chair.
Tommy: Must we talk about the last two weeks? They've been a disaster for Butch, and a super-cataclysmic meltdown for old Tom after an 8-4 start. As a result, Tommy is going the way of the LOST characters near the end of the series finale, and is just willfully forgetting all that has happened and pretending to be in some dream state where winners are actually picked. On that note, time to crawl down into the hatch and press some numbers into my computer before John Locke/Smoke Monster kills me.
Advertisement
Butch: What? 3-12 in two weeks is not what you expected in an NCAA-violation year, Tommy? See, this is what happens when you abandon your boys in their time of need. Karma, Tommy. Karma. Also, get a Cootie Cleaner and please do something with your cooties.
Wazzu at UCLA (-27)
Tommy: Only 27? Like taking candy from a baby. Enjoy The Mirage For One More Week, Ruins-43, Wake Me When Paul Wulff Gets His Second Pac-10 Win-10.
Butch: Butch actually thinks this might be a close call - especially if Kevin Prince cannot go - but based on the first four weeks of the season and all of Wulff's tenure in which he is winless on the road, he is beginning to see a trend, and trends are important in college football. Butch also takes UCLA to win and cover.
Arizona State at Oregon State (-3.5)
Tommy: Tommy's not buying the Beav as a fave against any good team. Their defense is an abomination, even when you factor in their opponents. Their offense hasn't cracked 325 yards yet this season, and their QB can't complete 50% of his passes. Meanwhile, The Drunkard's team has found a quarterback and had been pretty good on D before running into the Duckie buzzsaw. Tommy goes with the Scum Devils straight up. Dennis Remembers Where All The Corvallis Watering Holes Are-32, Is Riley's Streak Of Winning Seasons Over?-17.
Butch: Wait…have you picked a game correctly that involves Oregon State yet in 2010, Tommy? Let Butch check….[insert sound of ticking clock and Jeopardy theme music here]….bzzzzz!!! Time's up and the answer is no! Tommy is 0-3 picking OSU's games so far this year. That leads Butch to believe Riley's Rodent's will win for sure now. With this incontrovertible evidence [and a glass of nog] by his side, Butch fearlessly picks Riley's Rodents to win and cover.
Washington at USC (-10)
Tommy: Sorry, Tommy is still not buying. Northern Illinois beat Minnesota by more points than my guys. Colorado (yes, Colorado) smoked Hawaii like Lucky Strike. Butch's Huskies aren't exactly rolling along, but they definitely have enough on offense to make this a game. Tommy has little faith in the Trojan defense, so SC win, but UW covers in a shootout. Good Guys-38, You Won't Be Bowling This Year Either-35.
Butch: Well, at least you are consistent about your boys of Troy, Tommy. When you don't stand by them, you really don't stand by them. Good for you for making a point in a bowl-less year! Butch, on the other hand feels that as long as they keep Locker in the pocket, [almost] everybody beats the Huskies so, Butch takes Tommy's poor friendless boys of Troy to win and cover even if Tommy won't.
Stanford at Oregon (-7)
Tommy: A possible BCS Championship elimination game? Who woulda thunk it? Tommy likes Los Duckies to cover at home, where their offense truly becomes a juggernaut. The Cardinal gave up a lot of points and yards against that Wake Forest outfit, and beating up UCLA and Notre Dame's beleagured offenses is like kicking an elderly blind man...not impressive. Back To Tempe In Three Months?-49, Settling For Rose Bowl?-35.
Butch: It's hard to win in Eugene, but if any team can do it, it is a team of smart, athletic Trees. Butch is not totally convinced that the Trees can pull off what would be a gargantuan victory but he definitely thinks they can cover against the newly exposed soles - make that, souls - of the Nikes. Butch picks the Trees to cover.
Tommy
Last Week: 1-5
Overall: 11-16
Butch
Last Week: 3-3
Overall: 13-14
+++++++sponsored by Greg Davis Sports Photography+++++++++
The college football prognosticating season is here…and you know what that means…[well besides Butch and Tommy going at each other's throats] It's time for a whole new season of Cougar Athletics! Football, soccer, volleyball, men's & women's basketball, baseball, track & field and tennis, just to name a few, are coming up right around the corner. If you need "game action" photographs for your newspaper, magazine, web site, blog, etc., then Greg Davis Sports Photography should be your choice for all things "Cougar" and "Pac-10 Conference"! Coverage for specific athletes or upcoming events is also available. Check out the images from games, practices and events from last season, and be sure to come back often for uploads from all of this season's action.
Advertisement