Butch v. Tommy - Week Four

The placid scene last week had a calming effect on Tommy's jangled nerves. Now that order has been restored to the universe and Butch, unruffled by being temporarily down one game, has returned to his rightful place in this prognosticating contest, Tommy can resume with his non-Pac-10 distractions, a little side show we like to call Non-conference Noogies. Meanwhile, last week was just a blur for poor Tommy who – rather questionably, if you ask Butch - placed all his trust in the Washington Husky football team to carry him through the week and then watched as the Hussies do what they do best, lose football games to BCS conference schools [but they did have those big wins over Syracuse and Indiana]. Now, the Pac-10 season has begun, and the natives are already itching to give Butch the Gatorade bath even though it is only the fourth week, but Butch must obligingly hold up a paw until he sees if Tommy has a comeback [even though LL says not to call it a comeback] in him.
Tommy: Good gawd, Butch. You're going to get arrested for skirted mascot abuse if you keep this up. You've gotta love a week where Stanford wins by 37, UCLA loses by 38 to an 0-2 team, ASU can't cover against SDSU, and Washington dominates a game for two and a half quarters and then rolls into a shell. That's football, baby. One thing we can always rely on: Mike Stoops sucks. You've also gotta love Butch for correctly picking against the Cougs.
Butch: That's right, ol' sly Tommy – see, Butch does not have those blinders on when it comes to Wazzu – he knows when the tassel is swinging in the wind or if it's just the air conditioner. That's why those numbers look like they do down at the bottom of the page. Now if you can just get on the same page and stop messing around with those Hussies, we can have some pepper in the bar.
Arizona at California (-16.5)
Tommy: The Bears have burned Tommy time and time again, but as Joe Pesci said in Casino, "I'm stupid." Actually, I'm stupid, but I'm not Stoopid. Has anyone looked worse than the Cats this season in the Pac-10. I think they're bad enough that Notre Dame could give them a run for the money. Well, maybe not that bad. Revenge Cover Again-42, Falling Apart While Yelling At Refs-13.
Butch: Butch is glad Tommy is finally boarding this train that Butch has been on for four years now [translation: ever since Livengood made that silly hire]. Stoops has yet to win a conference opener while Tedford has won four of his five and is undefeated against Stoops in Berkeley. Therefore….some throat-clearing, ahem….Butch believes he will take the Fightin' Tedfords to win and cover.
Wazzu at USC (-24.5)
Tommy: Butch's Cougs played SC tight last season in Pullman, but that was Pullman. The Trojans have had some big spreads at home, and have covered most of them in the Pete Carroll era. WSU has the capability to make this a close game, but they'll have to score a lot of points to do it, because their defense is talent-less. With their schedule so far, being eighth in the conference in total defense and last in scoring defense is bad news. Butch gets some sun, but goes home sad. Good Guys-49, Swiss Cheese-20.
Butch: See, here is where Tommy's previous attempt at slyness was expected to pay handsome dividends, but much to Tommy's consternation, Butch is picking his boys to pull the number, primarily because Doba is 0-4 SU and 1-3 ATS against Carroll – all with double-digit spreads. Butch takes Tommy's boys of Troy to win and cover.
Oregon State at Arizona State (-11.5)
Tommy: Catch the Beavs' last road game? ASU is playing good D right now, and the Devils aren't Idaho State. Tommy's not terribly confident on this one because Riley's boys have a good defense as well, but Tommy likes Rudy Carpenter a hell of a lot more than Sean Canfield. Drunken Hot Desert Chicks-24, Crunchy Granola Broads-10.
Butch: Butch is not sure about the Beavers – they will probably be good later in the season – but for now he is going to use the formula script that says they tank in September and Riley is 1-3 SU and ATS in conference openers along with the fact they have not won in Tempe in, like, forever, dude. Butch takes Sparky to win and cover.
Oregon (-16) at Stanford
Tommy: The Trees are a dominant team right now. They flexed their ample muscles against the mighty Spartans, and now they are ready to take the Pac-10 by storm. Oh, wait, they're the only team that hasn't been able to compete against UCLA. Well, for that reason alone, I'll pick the Ducks to pull an emphatic upset over the future Pac-10 champs. Typical Fast Start-42, Don't Worry, They're Still Bad-12.
Butch: Bellotti has had some thorny issues with the Trees in the past and it is entirely possible that they could give the Nikes some problems in this game, but the time for a letdown was last week – not in the conference opener on the road - and we all saw what happened to Fresno. Butch takes the Nikes to win and cover.
Washington at UCLA (-6)
Tommy: Sure, the Pooches failed me last season when they failed to defend that deceptive fly pattern and couldn't hold on to the kickoff, but did you happen to catch that UCLA game? Who has been saying that the Bruins are a fraud since the beginning of the season? The Skirted One. In the past, the Rose Bowl has been a house of horrors for UW, but Willingham nearly beat a heavily favored UCLA team two seasons ago, and pulled it off last year. Ty is 2-0 against the spread versus Dorrell, soon to be 3-0 with a win Saturday. Locker Is God-27, Sustained Mediocrity-18.
Butch: This game reminds Butch of a block of moldy cheese – you either have to cut off the mold and take your chances with the rest of the block or toss the whole thing in the dumpster. Butch is tossing the thing in the dumpster and takes the Hussies to cover.
Non-conference Noogies
Penn State (-2.5) at Michigan
Tommy: Tommy is not a fan of Nittany despite their win over might Notre Dame, and the Wolves have owned Paterno. Guess what? It happens again. Poorly Coached-19, Overrated-14.
Butch: After consulting with Harbaugh, no way - no friggin' way, Jose - is Butch gonna take the Maize and Boo at the Small House. Butch takes the Nitts to win and cover.
Air Force at BYU (-9.5)
Tommy: The Falcons are flying high after their huge upset, but reality is about to hit. The best team in the Mountain West wasn't the Horny Frogs. It's the team that couldn't beat the Bruins. The Bruins Own Us-24, We Beat Utah But The Bruins Couldn't-10.
Butch: AFA can't handle the truth – they are only 6-21 all-time against BYU – including 0-2 since Big Buckin' Bronco has been there. Better make that 0-3. Butch takes BYU to win and cover.
Northern Illinois at Idaho (-2)
Tommy: In honor of Butch, we'll pick the game of WSU's biggest rival. Gotta love the Vandals in this one. After two decent showings against SC and the Cougs, and a huge win over a great Cal Poly team, look for the Spuds to keep it going. Why Are You Picking This Game Again-24, We Miss Garrett Wolfe-17.
Butch: Butch likes potatoes – mashed, spindled, French-fried – and to win this football game. Butch takes the Spuds to win and cover.
Last Week: 2-7
Overall: 12-13
Last Week: 6-3
Overall: 17-8
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