Butch v. Tommy - Week Seven

Butch and Tommy rolled out the big "O" last week as they both got moldy and went with the stereotypical picks. The only saving grace was that Butch pulled out two wins and Tommy got one in the Non-conference Noogie section, but since those games are not up to Pac-10 snuff, it hardly takes away the pain – plus Tommy did not even have his Illini game with Wisconsin on the docket and let a perfect clairvoyant opportunity slip through his fingers. Needless to say, Tommy is not on speaking terms with his brain this week after what happened in Los Angeles last week. Butch was a little concerned that he might be venturing too near sharp objects but he seems to have matters under control now that the medication has kicked in.
Tommy: Tommy is still...hiccup...a little drunk from last weekend's embarrassment, and I'm not even talking about my picks. At least Butch's team bowed to a good team. My Lord. Tommy doesn't think most of you understand the kind of effort that it has taken the Skirted One to drag himself to the keyboard to make these picks. It's a lot easier when you bring your bottle with you to the keyboard. Well, Tommy's going to make the picks, and then out for an afternoon on the town with Mike Price. Rumor has it that El Paso strip clubs sell hard liquor.
Butch: Now you're talkin' Tommy! This has always been Butch's manifesto and Butch has the numbers to back it up [who has won this little shindig the past few years?] It is time to get a jump on nog season – which is just around the corner – and it makes the picks go down a whole lot easier.

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Arizona at USC (-21)
Tommy: The last two weeks have been ugly for Trojan fans, and not many are going to have the guts to pick the Trojans against the spread, especially with uncertainty at the quarterback position, and especially against an Arizona team that USC has failed to cover against in the last two outings. But since 2002, SC is 4-1 against the spread after a straight up loss, and have covered the last four. Add the fact that the Cats are 0-3 ATS on the road this season, and I think the Trojans get it done. Stanford Owns Us-34, Just Think How Mad Stoops Would Have Been If He Were SC's Coach-10.
Butch: Tommy, your boys could cart out Lou Holtz, Britney Spears or that fraudulent Mexican marathoner guy as quarterback and still be able to beat Arizona. Now, against the spread, that's another deal. Butch sees those numbers you're concerned about and he is concerned about them too, but the Wildcats have beaten only one Division I team this year and…uh…Butch….uh…forgets who that was at the moment - but if OSU beats them by double digits with their turnover margin, your boys should have no trouble, if they do, then that is trouble. Butch takes Tommy's boys of Troy to win and cover.
Wazzu at Oregon (-18)
Tommy: This won't be pretty. The Pac-10's highest scoring offense vs. its worst scoring defense. Ouch. Butch, could 2-10 be in your future? Tedford Owns Us-56, Even Booty Looked Good Against Us-28.
Butch: Groan. Wait, that was last week's intro to the Wazzu game. Butch had the ASU game pegged last week but had to wait until halftime to see if his words would hold true. This week, he does not have to wait that long. The Wazzu defense played marvelous against stick-in-the-mud quarterback Rudy Carpenter last week but that is no sitting duck back there in the pocket this week and while the last three games have been close, Butch's crystal ball is all cloudy and he has a hard time seeing a repeat defensive performance soooo… Butch has to go with the Nikes to win and cover.
TCU (-5.5) at Stanford
Tommy: I'm going to call an upset here, and not because I think the Trees are any good but because the Amphibians are 0-3 on the road and have losses to powerhouses like Air Force and Wyoming. They have struggled on offense all season long, and the Cardinal play a confusing brand of defense. So let the Trees have one more feel good week. Team That SC Carried On Its Back To The Finish Line-17, Team That Sucks Offensively-14.
Butch: Last week, Butch called out Tavita Pritchard – that's right, that was Butch – for his welcome to Pac-10 football. Turns out it was the other way around and it was the Pac-10's welcome to Pritchard as he torched Tommy's boys of Troy into submission. During the last three years in the game directly after playing USC, the Trees are 3-0. Granted, two of those were against Pac-10 patsy Washington, but three straight is three straight no matter how cross-eyed you get looking at it, and the Trees have got used to winning after playing USC, so Butch takes the Trees to win and cover.
Oregon State at California (-14)
Tommy: Hold everything here. The Beavs are 3-2 against Jeff Tedford, and the Bears have not beaten the mighty Beav at home under their savior. There's a first time for everything. OSU has looked terrible away from Reser. Even with a gimpy Nate Longshore, the Hippies take care of business. #2?-31, Jekyll And Hyde-14.
Butch: Don't forget that bye week, Tommy. The Tedfords love to play after a bye week – with a 5-2 record so far under their namesake. Now that your boys have lost a conference game and the Tedfords haven't, they're smelling opportunity – and roses. Butch takes the Tedfords to win and cover.
Washington at Arizona State (-12)
Tommy: One more breather for the Sun Devils before the real season starts in two weeks. The Huskies have come all the way back down to earth, losing to the lowly Trojans at home and the lowly Bruins with a walk-on at QB. Shoot, even Notre Dame beat UCLA with a walk-on at the helm. The Sun Devils get 'er done, and then we'll find out if they're a fraud. Erickson Will Drink To That-35, 9/11 Was Willingham's Fault-17.
Butch: ASU is overrated – there is no doubt about that – but they have also won three straight in this series and Willie is 3-7 on the road in the Pac-10 [two against Arizona and one that WSU gifted them last year] – so the bottom line is, when it is against a good team on the road, the Huskies lose. Butch is not calling ASU a good team, but they haven't lost yet so he takes ASU to win and cover.
Non-conference Noogies
South Carolina (-7) vs. North Carolina
Tommy: This battle of the Carolinas should make for compelling football with old rivals Steve Spurrier and Butch Davis. Tommy thinks seven points is too many in this game, since the Carolina Blue have showed some nice improvement. We'll stop just shy of calling for an upset though. Cocks-24, We Own Miami-20.
Butch: Butch thought the Civil War was over – North v. South? Well, Butch knows who won that. Butch votes to stop slavery and takes the North to cover.
Boston College (-13.5) at Notre Dame
Tommy: We'll choose this one because the Eagles won't be down to a walk-on at quarterback, and it should be fun to watch them thrash the Irish, who are lucky to be 1-5. How Did They Get In The Top Five-42, 140 Yards Won't Win This Game-7.
Butch: Butch absolutely hates double-digit road point spreads. Hates 'em. With a passion. Butch also is not fond of leprechauns – although the Lucky Charms version is okay. So, a quandary. But there is a solution. Butch can take the Leprechauns to lose the game but still cover the spread! Ah, the magic of wagering. Butch takes the Leps to get lucky – again - and cover.
Wisconsin at Penn State (-6.5)
Tommy: Sure, Wisky has a porous D, but Anthony Morelli is closer to terrible than good. The Badgers lost by less than six and a half against an Illinois team that is better than Penn State, and the Lions seem to be trapped in an episode of Boys Gone Wild lately. Tommy takes beer and brats to cover. JoePa Needs All The Facts Before He Ignores Wrongdoing-24, At Least We Didn't Lose To Stanford-21.
Butch: Oh sure, now you put Bucky on the board …a little late, but Butch will agree after watching the Nitts and their 307-year-old coach earlier this year. Butch takes Bucky to cover.
Last Week: 0-4
Overall: 18-21
Last Week: 0-4
Overall: 23-16
Non-Conference Noogies
Last Week: 1-2
Overall: 3-6
Last Week: 2-1
Overall: 4-5
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