Butch v. Tommy - Week Six

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The cream finally rose to the top two weeks ago as Butch took a two-game lead on Tommy and defeated him in their single Wazzu-USC head-to-head match-up for the year. Then it all came crashing down like a Wazzu touchdown called back when there was some buzzing noise in the pocket of a Pac-10 official. Butch was looking around for any one of the Three Stooges and when neither Larry, Curly Moe - or even Shemp - appeared, Butch knew he was in trouble. Larry was the Wazzu-UCLA game as the Cougars pretended like they didn't know what they were doing, then did, then didn't again. Since the Bruins were starting a second-string quarterback who could not run the ball without a downhill start, the game wound up being closer than expected but still in double digits. Tommy called his boys to fail to cover but did not, Butch repeats - did not - call them to lose to the Hussies [Tommy must be so proud], making this definitely the Curly game of the week. The Trees looked good early on, but then - whoop! whoop! whoop! - got all silly in the second half and saved Tommy's skin. The Moe Game of the week. Clearly the Shemp game of the week was ASU-OSU where Riley's Rodents were on their way to an 11-point victory only to make several late fourth quarter mistakes and allow the Sun Devils to cover by half a point. Nice. So clearly, Tommy's victory is hollow and Butch will be coming back this week to prove the hollow nature of last week's "win" and continue to implore that Tommy get some sort of Cootie Removal Cream so that he keeps from infecting Butch with his cooties that keeps both of us under the notorious .500 "Tommy Line" for the year. Please, Tommy - think of the children!
Tommy: All aboard for Dunkin! Tommy appreciated Butch's impersonation of a police officer last weekend. That doughnut he put up would make any guy driving a patrol car proud. Plus with a pretty decent week for The Skirted One, the lead is back where it belongs. The good news for Butch is that Tommy blows almost as much chunks as his Furry Friend, so the score is close. Some day one of us will break .500. Hopefully that will be before the Trojans are good again.
Butch: Right, Tommy - those solid wins in all three games were massively impressive. Let's see, good thing your boys cannot handle a Hussy team that obviously 1-4 BYU had no problems with [hence their one win], you clearly saw the Trees blowing an 18-point first half lead and your less-than-.500 telepathic skills saw that Rodent gigantic fourth-quarter brain fart coming…oh wait, except you picked ASU to win, that's right. Yes, impressive. Please Thomas, go to Cootie Emporium today and do what's right so we can both get above your line of infamy.
UCLA at California (-7.5)
Tommy: If Tommy knows anything, it's that Jeff Tedford owns the Powders in Berkeley. Tommy's kids weren't even alive the last time the Ruins won at Strawberry Canyon. The way Neuweasel is going, Tommy suspects that his children will never see it. Welcome back to reality this week, UCLA fans. The Most Inconsistent Team in History-34, Consistently Bad-17.
Butch: UCLA got lucky last week that they were playing Wazzu instead of some other team that could take advantage of their slow-as-molasses second-string QB, but even with starter Kevin Prince back, the Fighting Tedfords have already seen how this Pistol thing works - with the Nevada A-Team running it - and now that the UCLA B-Team is running it and with an extra week to prepare even more, Butch looks into his crystal ball and sees a nasty day for UCLA. Butch selects the Fighting Tedfords to win and cover easily.
Oregon (-34.5) at Wazzu
Tommy: Only five TDs? The closest the Cougs have been to the SchNikes in the last three season is 46 points. Tommy likes those odds. Very Good-63, Very Bad-14.
Butch: They really didn't want to televise this execution, er, game, live, but Oregon insisted on it and finally got their way so only a select few - Butch being one of those few [lucky Butch…] - will be able to witness the massacre. Butch expects Oregon to have the spread covered by late second quarter, possibly early third…and then it is nog-drinking time from there on out since everybody knows Chip Kelly will be gracious about running up the score. Butch selects the Nikes to win and cover while maybe breaking a sweat.
Oregon State at Arizona (-8.5)
Tommy: Tommy thinks Angry Mike has made too much hay out of one win. That Cal game didn't exactly blow anyone's doors off, and the Beav has owned the Cats over the past decade. Tommy smells upset...or maybe that's just the stench of Paul Wulff's coaching. Making Yet Another Charge-24, We Lose Two We Should Win Every Year-21.
Butch: One lucky win - which Butch is not counting since you actually picked OSU to lose last week so you are 0-4 in picking OSU games in Butch's book - makes you all bold about Riley's Rodents now, eh Thomas? Well, Arizona had a bye to rest their delicate tootsies after the big meanies from Iowa and Cal stepped on them and now they are all ready to go and boot out some illegal immigrants. Yeah, grab the pitchforks and torches and let's go! Wait, these are just Riley's Rodents - they will boot themselves in the fourth quarter. Butch selects Arizona to win and cover.
USC at Stanford (-8.5)
Tommy: Uh, is that all there is? Hard to believe that with all those "great" recruiting classes, the Trojans don't have any linebackers that can defend their way out of a wet paper bag. Tommy's not sure what Vegas is thinking here. The Trees will actually bring the best O and D USC has faced all year, and they only beat SC by five TDs last year. The Trojans will be lucky to keep this one close. Time To Go For Two Again-42, Is This What It Feels Like To Be a Bruin?-21.
Butch: Well, after witnessing the poor excuse of a fourth quarter last week, Butch can see why Thomas continues to bail on his boys of Troy. Butch received a memo this morning and it said that the rest of the league is happy to see Lane Kiffin as head coach for as long as USC will have him. Butch also selects the Trees to win and cover.
Arizona State at Washington (-2)
Tommy: Last season, after UW beat SC, they got pounded by Stanford. In fact, in the last four seasons, teams that have beat SC are 2-7 in their next game, and have lost their last five. Put that together with the fact that Washington has lost six straight to ASU and that their defense is horrendous, and I'll take the Scum Devils in a slight upset. The Best 2-3 Team In The Land-31, Sark Owns The Trojans-28.
Butch: Obviously, the Hussies had a bye week last week in playing a team with mental issues, but if Vontaze Burfict can keep from working himself into a personal foul frenzy, Butch likes the Sun Devils as well and picks ASU to win and cover.
Last Week: 3-1
Overall: 14-17
Last Week: 0-4
Overall: 13-18
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The college football prognosticating season is here…and you know what that means…[well besides Butch and Tommy going at each other's throats] It's time for a whole new season of Cougar Athletics! Football, soccer, volleyball, men's & women's basketball, baseball, track & field and tennis, just to name a few, are coming up right around the corner. If you need "game action" photographs for your newspaper, magazine, web site, blog, etc., then Greg Davis Sports Photography should be your choice for all things "Cougar" and "Pac-10 Conference"! Coverage for specific athletes or upcoming events is also available. Check out the images from games, practices and events from last season, and be sure to come back often for uploads from all of this season's action.