Butch v. Tommy - Week Two

The first week of festivities went well despite the fact Tommy plainly got lucky when, in the first game of the year – just as it was going like Butch had predicted - both Utah's quarterback and top running back got injured and the Utes proceeded to fold like a morally abandoned Idaho senator. Since there was only a one-game difference between Butch and Tommy, that was essentially the lucky break [so to speak] that went Tommy's way. Congratulations, Tommy, a well-deserved win. But Butch is no longer bitter because a] the last time Tommy had a one-game lead it was 1903 and the womens were in the streets picketing about moral turpitude and why somebody should hurry up and invent the refrigerator and b] it is a new week and that means a fresh chance for Tommy to practice his Heimlich maneuver.
Tommy: A decent week one start gives Tommy the early lead in the contest between the two greatest prognosticators known to mankind. Let's hope that above .500 is a constant in the future for the great Tommy. Butch on the other hand, like the team that he shills for, is hoping just to be bowl eligible. Oh, and loving fans of this great column will be interested to know that the "non-conference noogies" (non-conference big-game specials) will be back once conference season starts to keep things interesting. Time to get back to work, and week two has some good stuff.
Butch: Bowl eligible, Tommy? The Cougars were in that boat last year and found themselves without an oar. Did you know hoop season was only six weeks away?
Oregon State (-3.5) at Cincinnati
Tommy: Tommy's not feeling the Beavs after their QBs had a contest of "let's see who can hit the turf most with passes." The Bearcats have shook things up with a new offensive system, and their defense was already good. Let's not forget that the Rats from Corvallis have made a living with embarrassing the conference on the road, whether it was giving up 95 points in two games to Boise, getting lit up by Louisville, blowing the LSU game, and getting shocked by Fresno State. Here comes Part Six of that series. WKRP-26, Only Team In The Conference Without A Viable QB-20.
Butch: Watch what Beav you are feelin' there, Tommy or you could wind up in courtin' the legal system. Butch saw that game last week and he saw it more like a contest of "how many passes could the receivers drop" but either way – Butch goes along with Tommy on that non-conference road embarrassment thingymabobber that OSU has going and takes Cincy to cover.
California (-14) at Colorado State
Tommy: Does Vegas really think the betting public believes that since CSU outplayed a bad Colorado team that they can hang with the Bears? Tommy doesn't. If the Rams can't stop the Buffs from running, how will they stop Forsett and Best? They won't. This will probably be the easiest win for Tommy next to the ASU game. Pac-10 Football! (Clap, Clap, Clap-Clap-Clap)-45, Good Thing Garrett Didn't Pick Lubick-18.
Butch: Butch does not – repeat, does not – like giving double digit points on the road, but 14 is his legal limit and besides, there is only one number that is important in this game – Colorado State head coach Sonny Lubick is 9-22 against BCS conference teams. It will be closer than Tommy thinks but Butch takes the Fightin' Tedfords to win and cover.
Oregon at Michigan (-8)
Tommy: Tommy is baffled by this extravaganza. Sure, Michigan just handed their fans the biggest embarrassment in the history of anything, but anyone who only paid attention to the Nikes' score isn't getting the whole picture. The Ducks surrendered about 550 yards to a mid-major starting a first-year QB. The biggest upset victims in history have stunk against the spread of late: both Ohio State and Appy State hammered the Wolves with it. So what does a Skirted One do? The X-Box Warriors do not have a history of playing well on the road in big games. They haven't beaten a ranked team at home since the Piano Man was their QB, and they were 2-5 last year away from Autzen. Methinks the Wolves come back in a big way and dominate Oregon's awful DL. Hiding Our Heads in Shame-42, Not As Good As Appy State-32.
Butch: Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. Was not your chant "Pac-10 football, clap, clap, something" a few sentences ago? Ah, the torments of age on the brain. Listen Tommy, Butch does not like Oregon's defense any better than you do but it is the Nikes' offense that will keep them within a touchdown here. Sure, Michigan will be hopping mad about losing to the Appy State hillbilly clan, but there is one cardinal rule in college football – never give the Nike offense more points. In the last five years, Oregon is 5-0 ATS in covering their first road trip of the year. Make that 6-0 after this game. Butch takes the Nikes to cover.
Boise State (-5) at Washington
Tommy: Hmmmm, do you smell that? Smells like an upset. Little known facts about the Broncos in their recent five year run: they are 0-4 in out of conference road games against big conferences, and the Beaver teams that they lost to were a combined 13-11. Meanwhile in Seattle, the Huskies look like a better team. Tommy's got a hunch. Willingham Better Than Weis?-28, Well, We'll Always have Oklahoma-27.
Butch: The Hussies looked good steamrolling a Bottom 10 team consisting of a bunch of bloated Oranges – but now they get the juice. Washington has not covered their home opener under Willie and the Truck Driving School has never beaten a Pac-10 team other than Oregon State – something's gotta give. Butch says Boise State wins but it will be close so UW will cover.
BYU at UCLA (-7)
Tommy: Another intriguing contest. The Powders blitzed the Trash Talkers last week, but they scored 31 on them last year as well, and then never cracked 30 again. The Cougars did a number on the Mad Man's defense, which is pretty good. Dorrell's team is not inept offensively though as Stoops'. Tommy's just not sure that they have reached the status of "consistent" or "good." BYU has been really tough of late on big conference foes, beating Oregon and Arizona, pushing Boston College to OT, and staying with a score of Cal and Arizona away from home. Tommy thinks the Girlie Men pull it out, but that the Holy Ones keep it close. We Won't Know Until Late October-27, Stoops' Air Raid Offense Really Scared Us-23.
Butch: BYU is 0-2 in road openers under Big Buckin' Bronco and UCLA has a balanced offense – not like that terrifying Arizona offense BYU faced last week. Butch takes UCLA to win and cover.
San Diego State at Wazzu (-13.5)
Tommy: Please. If Butch's buddies can't cover this one, it's going to be an even longer season than Tommy thought. Bring On The Spuds-42, Is It Too Late To Rehire Tom Craft?-12.
Butch: Whaddya talkin' 'bout, Tommy!? San Diego State is a Pac-10 team….in men's soccer. Doba is 9-0 against non-BCS teams so Butch believes he will take Wazzu to win and cover.
Colorado at Arizona State (-14)
Tommy: This game once would have held some allure, but not now. The Buffs needed a last second FG to push a game with CSU into overtime, and they couldn't keep the Ram offense off the field. Meanwhile the Sun Devils steamrolled a decent SJSU team. Look for Rudy Carpenter to rake the Buffs over the coals with a big performance, and for people to continue to wonder why Boise State coaches who leave the Blue Turf can't coach in the spotlight. Resurgent In The Desert-42, Bad In The Mountains-14.
Butch: The Sun Devils are going to thrash Colorado – just like last year – only worse. Butch takes ASU to win and cover.
Last Week: 6-3
Overall: 6-3
Last Week: 5-4
Overall: 5-4
+++++++sponsored by Clark's Restaurant+++++++++
Attention COUGAR Fans! Autumn is almost here, now you're really hungry! How can you afford to go one day further without some tasty morsels from Clark's Restaurant in Grays Harbor – home of the Best Hamburger in Twin Harbors for eight consecutive years? Come in for the burger, fresh homemade fries and milkshakes concocted from homemade ice cream. Go ahead, we dare you to try and pass up more than 12 varieties of hamburgers to choose from, full dinners, lunch and full breakfast served daily. Clark's Restaurant 360.538.1487. Seven miles south of Aberdeen, Washington on Highway 101. Proud supporter of CougZone. Mention this ad for a free small hot chocolate.